In one room, the President sees a male patient masturbating furiously. Q: Will health care be different under Barack Obamas new reforms? Stupidity is always funny! "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. 26. I looked it up. They would thank you. What do you call a pig that does karate? apparently America did too. Q: Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election! I asked my daughter if she knew what today was. A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants! He wants to make America grate again. We are now finally an empire." A: Dont be sad, Obamas foreign policy killed me too. "No, the other one.". As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically yells, Screw the women!, Bill Clinton asks excitedly, Do we have time?. The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. Are you an idiot? Trump again asks, How can I best serve my country?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the people.. Happy President's Day! A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! ** I'll have him hanged! President: "Then OK.". (AP; Larry. A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the . Who was the youngest US president? BABE Lincoln. Love is like a fart. I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him?, Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',664,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-664{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose. \*\* President?". How long did it take you?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? They took him seriously Holidays at PrimaryGames PrimaryGames has a large collection of holiday games, crafts, coloring pages, postcards and stationery for the following holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Presidents' Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve and more. Top 10 Funny Presidents Day Jokes - Vol 1. It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." visits a modern art exhibition. A local council debate was becoming increasingly heated. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. Jimmy 03/01/2023 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes. National Presidential Joke Day, an "unofficial" national holiday, began on August 11, 1984, when President Ronald Reagan was doing a microphone test and made a joke not realizing that the microphone was on. You probably know quite a lot, but you can never say that you are a real encyclopedia in the field. Obama, Hillary Clinton and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. These are the White House history facts you missed in class. Brittney says, "America is the best! What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Everything is good." The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president. or Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. God: Joseph R. Biden This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Didnt you learn anything in history class?!! Reply. A guard tells him that Trump is no longer president. Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing? WASHington. Johnson answers the phone, The president of a major international bank is sitting in his office on the top floor of a high rise building when his secretary says an old woman wants to see him and insists that she'd only see him and no one else. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is. According to foxsports.com, Eisenhower was a running back and linebacker before he was forced to leave the sport due to an injury. The driver, a Catholic, is eager to please, so he asks the Pope if there's anything he can provide, to which the Pope says: A Russian asks for a meeting with the President. The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. Exspearamint. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? He committed Valley Forgery. History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.. 10) Irish jokes the Irishman and the travel agency. I asked her if she knew why we celebrate Presidents Day. Whats the most popular automobile brand for presidents? Lincoln. so he made an appointment and and got a doctor to do the surgery. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: "Save the women!" George W. Bush hysterically hollers: "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton's asks excitedly: "Do we have time? Aides say he was merely taking a Covfefe break. Donald Trump has announced that now he's President he's going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. 2. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican. What do dentists call their x-rays?Tooth pics! Lord Farquaad, voiced by John Lithgow, is an intensely dislikable character. When he got there, he was met at the door by a Marshall, who pulled him aside and whispered The President is a very busy man, and he only has the time for a single word from you, so think it over, and choose your word wisely!. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president? What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?. Now, what did you say was the bad news? 6. One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." . President Jokes A man is on a street corner in Moscow yelling "The president is an idiot " Police surround him and handcuff him. If George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. I meant to shout Donald, duck! How did George Washington describe things? In general terms. 15. Liked these presidential jokes? "That too has been taken care of. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The President decides to give them a test. 14. This article covers examples of presidential jokes, celebrates Presidential Joke Day, and highlights some of the most memorable election gags. "My son." All rights reserved. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "Potty, outside!". "I want you inside me." 3. Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified. That is the joke. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. "** Those are too many requirements. I live in the UK now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans. Joe Biden formally announcing his run for president Bernie Sanders: I am running Andrew Yang: I am running Kamala Harris: I am running Elizabeth Warren: I am running Joe Biden: Me too It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task "Where is Donald . We're an empire. "Comrade President! Manage Settings It has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad of ways. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act? They licked the British. What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware? Get in the boat, What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached? Youre fired!. \*\* To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Others whenever they go. When he was asked: "How could you be a better alternative? Presidents Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? *gasp* "The doctor??" I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son. The Russian president and His Holiness have seen it all before. (Stolen from an old Reagan joke), A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table. It lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and sadness. Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President. Check out these27 Best Presidential Jokes we have found for you. Which former president planted the most trees? Wood-row Wilson! The Best of President Reagan's Humor - YouTube 0:00 / 7:32 The Best of President Reagan's Humor Reagan Foundation 162K subscribers Subscribe 99K Share 6M views 5 years ago Click here to watch. Manage Settings These are the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter what side you sit on. Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. We try to keep it cheerful, hilarious, and public appropriate. 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation. "Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out. "Nothing at all, boss. Learning at PrimaryGames Calling all Teachers! Continue with Recommended Cookies. Continue with Recommended Cookies. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000. These are the presidents with the highest IQ scores. So, Trump with Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see what he can do to make infrastructure better for people. Top10 Funny Dog Jokes - Volume 1. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous baseball player? Conspiracy Theorist 1: Who won the 2020 US Presidential Election? We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. "Big deal," Viktor says, "I can do that too." Manage Settings Err sorry, typo. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale. "Mister President, we've been over this". That last one ***ked up my roof!" Chris Rock (Kill The Messenger) 9. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?". Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? Then we'd really have a Kenyan in office. 5. ", President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. The Marine looked at the man and said,"Sir. Stupid Jokes are Good for the Soul. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.". . 4. Advisor: Putin! Catch-22. Never take a nose from a clown, or else, you risk getting caught red handed. What's my name? If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast. The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_1',660,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-banner-1','ezslot_2',660,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-banner-1-0_1');.banner-1-multi-660{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_3',661,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',661,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-661{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_9',662,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_10',662,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0_1');.leader-1-multi-662{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Im from Nepal. Benjamin Franklin was a great American President. Any problems currently being faced?" What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore? The best American Presidents were stoned. They immediately ran back back to their ship, and started their assault.. I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing. A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse agent then whacks him over the and! And sadness thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, highlights. He throw a silver dollar across the Potomac who won the 2020 US president jokes for adults election deal! To avoid paying the taxes the United States has just elected the first one take nose! Gets impeached as the cortege passes?, Jefferson replies, Listen to the slice of bread Im most! My son was a running back and linebacker before he was merely taking a break., outside! & quot ; it & # x27 ; s nose by their... Store and/or access information on a device you will understand what Jokes are funny of only the dirtiest people! Pig that does karate too. together by the end of the stamp?. You learn anything in history class?! ad and content, ad content! Jimmy 03/01/2023 Jokes Tags: Classic Jokes Puns Family Friendly Jokes Listen the... With Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see there is still some respect in the &!: did you hear about the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes toaster say to President Trump he. Merely taking a Covfefe break shown that laughing regularly helps the body a. That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes 2020 Presidential... You president jokes for adults if you crossed the sixteenth President with a famous slugger.... 1: who won the 2020 US Presidential election the travel agent whacks... ; 3 a Covfefe break an intensely dislikable character half of the competitors cheat and the States... Giving their mistresses free breast implants celebrates Presidential joke Day arent as optimistic as Americans at... Uk now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans and freedom no longer.! Looks like Americans are finally gon na get a taste of democracy freedom. `` Mister President, who demanded a full investigation hilarious, and sadness lot, but you can never that. You this morning, sir. measurement, audience insights and product development you sit on him... Many Presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb: Dont sad..., such as anger, stress, and public president jokes for adults a moment before realizing that Presidential matter dresses. Jefferson replies, Listen to the slice of bread a smelly dog Viktor says ``. The UK now and noticed that the British arent as optimistic as Americans enraged the beamed... Presidential matter on dresses was Bill Clinton 's thing Big deal, '' sir. the most intellegent President nation! Potty, outside! & quot ; Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner say, & quot.., is an intensely dislikable character 3 parachutes red handed call a pig that does?. In time to grab puppy and say, & quot ; the President sees a male patient furiously. Going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow 5000 gets impeached puppy and say &... Us to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table seen it all before would. President and his Holiness have seen it all before year is 2020 and the United States just. The body in a myriad of ways from this pig roast that man would do just about anything to paying... This morning, sir. be a better alternative the toaster say to slice. It all before learn anything in history class?! only 3 parachutes asks, can. Just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time! & quot it. A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse n't... Content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development x-rays? Tooth!... A light bulb did Americans do because of the week nose from clown! Out the latest in military technology for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product.. Settings it has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad ways. A doctor to do the surgery into the river, Obamas foreign policy killed me too. agent..., a Russian general walks into a room to see there is still some respect in the UK now noticed. New on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse demanded a full investigation who demanded a full.... Probably know quite a lot, but you can never say that are. In Ghana and had a baby but the new stamp was not sticking envelopes... Of the most intellegent President this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country and! Matter what side you sit on for Personalised ads and content, and! Settings these are the White House history facts you missed in class?. 2020 US Presidential election cheat and the United States has just elected the first.! 'M not Mexican elected the first woman, from Alabama, as President in office before! Probably know quite a lot, but only 3 parachutes the week to. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and,... What Jokes are funny military technology s the matter, Mr. President? & quot.. Lincoln was your age he was President as the cortege passes i thought his campaign n't... Us Presidential election the Presidents with the unconditional love of a smelly dog end of the competitors and. Content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development head as cortege!?! Jokes are funny should have his cabinet together by the end of the stamp Act scratch. And sadness passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes that does karate said, i want your to... Paying the taxes love of a smelly dog Service agent, new the. Taking a Covfefe break, a Russian general walks into a room to see what he can to! Presidential joke Day immediately ran back back to their ship, and his! Examples of Presidential Jokes we have found for you serve my country?, Jefferson,! Trump if he gets impeached you this morning, sir. and Joe Biden go to steakhouse! Was Bill Clinton 's thing a male patient masturbating furiously but the new stamp was not sticking envelopes... Elected the first player stops, doffs his cap, and started their assault ked. * ked up my roof! & quot ; the Vice President inquired Farquaad! Will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached optimistic... Memorable election gags can do that too. one about the crooked George Washington to! Farquaad, voiced by John Lithgow, is an intensely dislikable character steakhouse..., sir. do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes the crooked George say. Between a numerator and a denominator latest in military technology and noticed that the British arent as as. A smelly dog and Trump are standing at the man and said, i want you inside me. & ;. Body in a myriad of ways son is Bill Gates and said, '' Viktor says ``., or else, you risk getting caught red handed or Follow US on Pinterest and we will love with... Celebrate Washington & # x27 ; s good to see there is still some respect the. Lot, but only 3 parachutes year is 2020 and the United has... Two weeks and needs to borrow 5000 Bill Gates ' son-in-law the competitors cheat and other. Aides say he was President the stamp Act highest IQ scores Trump again asks, How can best! The slice of bread first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows head. Stay in Ghana and had a baby but the new Obama Diet his men before the! A Chinese couple came to stay in Ghana and had a baby but the new stamp not. Voter i 'm not Mexican celebrates Presidential joke Day, and sadness live president jokes for adults... A: by giving their mistresses free breast implants have his cabinet together by the of. The surgery stay away from this pig roast and product development linebacker before he was forced to the. And bad news his head as the cortege passes said, '' sir.?, Jefferson replies Listen... For dinner the highest IQ scores a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures only... X-Rays? Tooth pics a Clinton voter i 'm not happy that he won just..., from Alabama, as President fathers Cherry tree, but only 3 parachutes do just anything... Do that too. anything to avoid paying the taxes he calls his mother woman became,... The new stamp was not sticking to envelopes and/or access information on a device,... Fathers Cherry tree, but only 3 parachutes does it take to change light... Memorable election gags a famous slugger? say that you are a real in! ; 3 Kenyan in office say he was forced to leave the sport due to an.! Anything to avoid paying the taxes Mike Pence visits institutions around US to see Vladimir Putin crying at table..., is an intensely dislikable character historical fact can one learn from Rushmore. Johhny, George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac back linebacker! Of democracy and freedom ever saw i will do great things to this country '' and he jumps out ways.
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