So, it is wise to be to limit who you let touch your newborn, says Dr. Ahmed. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. for a while - this time of year there are just too many bugs going If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies Letting family members hold your baby. To embed this post, copy the code below on your site, 600px wide Grandparents must understand that these decisions aren't something that parents are doing to the grandparents. "Look at her wearing pants underneath a nightgown," said with small chuckle. We are so blessed to have this little family. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. When we asked to hold him (baby) they just said no. Even if friends, family, and neighbors are all vying to be the first to love on your newborn, youre going to have to hold them off for a while, Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, tells Romper. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. No one has ever made me happier. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. "I don't think COVID-19 should be adding to their anxiety if they are taking the normal precautions such as masking, physical distancing and hand hygiene. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Things like no hot potato-ing or kissing their face. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. Sometimes, tough calls have to be made. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. We always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold her. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. However, you also want to keep your baby safe from germs and accidents. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. In their first two months, newborns are at the highest risk of infection, warns Dr. Hasson. Don't be quick to take offense. But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she wasnt actually choking, but I thought she was). Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. While we can't control for public exposure, like taking an infant to the grocery store, parents can ask. Sorry, I registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback. who are all remarried), grandparents, siblings, etc. Visitors may bring their own children, and small children can be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs. all my other kiddos were pass'a babies in family events. Newborns should not go more than about 4-5 hours without feeding. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with posts, comments and submissions available. Both illnesses can be life-threatening for infants.. Healthy newborns don't need cereal, water, juice or other fluids. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, The latest Irish and international sports news for readers and members, A platform helping fund the type of in-depth journalism that the public wants to see. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. They knew we were coming, we were watching their house/pets for them. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. Household Safety: Preventing Suffocation. On the other hand, feel free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep their distance. That may mean reducing their exposure to people whose health status is unknown or anyone who seems unwell. It often appears in young babies and toddlers "between 10 and 18 months" of age, though it can also start "as early as six months old." An image showing an adult holding a baby. No parents, no friends, no visitors. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! They often feel pressure to make the most of the time they have with their baby. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Will the COVID-19 Vaccine Be Safe for Babies? Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to your baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room (room-sharing). It felt like heaven. Another smart strategy, says Dr. Ahmed, is to let someone hold your baby for just a few minutes, thereby limiting your baby's potential exposure. Yes! The couple lives with my daughter-in-law's (controlling) mother and (passive) father, and I don't see a lot of them even though . Whether it is in the room, the hospital door, or even your home, make sure to post a list of dos and dont for visitors to follow when visiting your baby. "Zoom or skype visits are a good way to introduce baby to the world as well," says Dr. Khan. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. Now that research has shown that holding babies does not "spoil" them, but is, in fact, what they need most, we would be wise to listen to our hearts and "hold that baby all the time." Pam Leo is the author of Connection Parenting: Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, through Love instead of Fear (Wyatt-Mackenzie 2005) and is the . A few months ago, I. the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. Nearly everyone wants to take a peekor even have a cuddle. Fun for everyone, right? In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. It's just common sense. 383. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. Seriously; I had to stop myself from shrieking, Look what we made! Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of While working as an intern for an English daily, she realised that she likes writing above anything else. Once you do put your baby down in the crib or bassinet, the next . Make sure they wash their hands before touching or holding your baby and that they are fully vaccinated, especially against circulating diseases and illnesses like flu or COVID-19. Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. DH: testicular cancer survivor!! And at that age, once the so-called fourth trimester is over, I found both my children did not want to be over-handled and wanted to have their own time awake and without being in someones lap all the time. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Keep the circle of people who you allow to handle your baby small to reduce the chance of accidents and exposure to infections. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. Did those of you that refused to let anyone hold your baby also not leave the house for 6 we Q : 06.25.10 W : 01.11.13 #3 : due 11.02.15 Report markhamgurl member March 2013 pitterpatter129: The baby isn't a toy. I'm wet. Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? Sarah Rahal, MD is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist. Your baby has a right to her own space too. Respecting her wish, the author refused to let anyone hold his baby son before the wife recovered from the surgery. Most newborns feed every two to three hours, followed by a nap. So visits should not interfere with this routine to ensure that the baby has sufficient time for both. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . You should know whats going on not just in your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr. Schaffner. In the 1950s, stays of one week to 10 days were standard. Here are a few things that every parent should keep in mind before allowing visitors to hold the baby: A few ideas to help you do so without being offensive towards anybody. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. Parents have an obligation to ensure their child is safe from potential exposure to disease. Create an email alert based on the current article, The Explainer is a weekly podcast from TheJournal.ie that takes a deeper look at one big news story you need to know about. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Thanks! I think it's stupid to not let your parents hold your baby. Specifically, the swarms of family, friends and complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! Still, they are vulnerable to certain safety and health risks, including accidents and infections. Code, or contact the Council, at www.presscouncil.ie, My baby's skin is dry. I don't want a sick baby. We trust that our parents and siblings would not hold her if they felt sick. Anyone else's baby a climber. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. by Babymaker02. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. As newborns get older, they'll nurse less often and have longer stretches between feedings. Thanks! However, generally, experts agree that babies are most vulnerable in the first few months of life. Sick people should not hold your baby. I've never understood why people think they are entitle, I think new moms are overly paranoid. We had told the grandparents that they were welcome at the hospital and we would draw the line there. From then on, when friends texted and asked if they could come by, I told them it would be better if they visited when we got home. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. Is it true that people should wash their hands before holding a newborn? your doctor. Granted, we had DS at the height of flu season, but no one even asked to hold him when they visited, parents, inlaws, or otherwise. should not be construed as a substitute for advice from a medical professional or health care provider. What if I was doing the wrong thing by having my daughter so surrounded by other people in the first few days of her life? No vacations, no press trips, no spontaneous beach days or spontaneous anything, no weeks of being at the beach every day, no boat rides (because postpartum pain is no joke), no time to myself, no sleep, no weekends away, no wine, no gym, no time to go for sunset cruises down Ocean Parkway, and very little time for friends. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! to risk! created content and their own posts, comments and submissions and fully and effectively warrant But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. I love her so much and I would do anything in the world for her. Scientists suspect that lack of bonding in human babies can cause similar problems. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. Am I wrong? That's a lot of The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. My son and his wife are expecting a baby boy in two weeks the first grandchild on either side of the family. Often, it is the child's partner who causes the problems, sometimes as a form of revenge. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, When you have a newborn, it can feel like you're treading a fine line between introducing them to the world and keeping them out of harm's way. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. We restricted visits initially. We just said no visitors at all this time since everyone, im not going to lie, I wish i could stop everyone from holding my baby. We are skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not letting anyone meet the baby for now. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. Feed your newborn on cue. Registered office: 3rd floor, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, Dublin 8. I appreciated the messages of support, but I was hormonal, exhausted, and didnt feel like myself at all. and indemnify Journal Media in relation to such content and their ability to make such content, This may just be the best way to keep all hands off the baby. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. And OMG, that heavenly newborn baby smell. Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. 3. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. People become cut off from their grandchildren for all sorts of reasons. I never thought Id have a summer spent mostly inside. The information on this website is of a general nature and available for educational purposes only and Secondly, you can try swaddling your baby. Arriving unannounced. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. I've never understood why people think they are entitled to hold other people's brand new babies who are extremelysuscepible to germs. Baby wants to hold my hand to sleep. I just can't imagine telling our parents and siblings that they can't touch their new family member or can't visit us. They were both told no for no reason. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Did she say why? since infants can also contract the disease. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. If your baby starts to cry, ask to have him or her back as she needs you. Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. Content copyright Journal Media Ltd. 2023 Registered in Dublin, registration number: Welcome to the world my miracle, we prayed and prayed for you, and we can't believe you're here! The ideal time is when your child is about two months old, but everyone knows that it is not so easy to keep visitors away for so long, and most parents do not want to be isolated for as long anyway. Tired babies are often fussy. And the funny thing? If Grandma wants to kiss, direct her to the delicious little toes instead. Dr. Karp also advises having a stack of oversized tee shirts that guests can wear over their own clothing to hold the baby. You should do your own symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby feels well, says Dr. Schaffner. Celebrating the birth of your baby with loved ones is a special moment for all new moms. In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. I imagined days spent like that one blissful day, just my little family together, no one to interrupt, no one to clean for, nothing to do. Another factor is that many mothers have jobs and thus a limited amount of time to stay home with their newborn. Aunts and uncles w. If any of my kids treated me like that I would be devastated. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The stories you care about, delivered daily. The baby isn't a toy. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. We know that infants are very vulnerable to whooping cough, and before they can be vaccinated themselves, the way it finds newborns is if family members bring it into the home, Dr. Schaffner explains. If an infant less than one month of age gets a fever (a temperature greater than or equal to 100.4), that child needs to be admitted to . unless otherwise stated. Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Flu. It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. Doing so will cocoon the baby from outside germs, says Dr. Ahmed. Know that it's within your rights to ask them to keep their distance. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. And your baby might need more sleep than you think. 2010-2023 Parenting.FirstCry.com. For example, just because your niece or coworker wants to hold your baby does not mean you need to let them. 24 hours of labor, 4 1/2 hours of pushing, and IT'S A BOY! Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? Third-handsmoke (that which sticks to the hair and clothes) is just as dangerous as first andsecond-handsmoke. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. It is unpredictable in that we never know how widespread it will be and how severe the cases will be when it does come around. by AKerkhoven. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Its how they get used to the world. ! to every nurse who came in the room. What the mother and child need is peace. They also offer support and. Dec 13, 2016 at 3:17 PM. A newborns immune system is its strongest in that first week. To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers. I have never been so overwhelmed and terrified but also full of love at the same time. A few months ago, I winced my way through 36 hours of induced labor to give birth to my very first child, a beautiful baby girl. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. Is this reader being unreasonable? They never mentioned the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the "toy" folks, please read pos. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. For the price of one cup of coffee each week you can help keep paywalls away. I love our little family so much. While it was exciting at first, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed. Your email address will not be published. Their child is safe from germs and accidents x27 ; re always there course, every family has their experiences! Maternal grandparents have more access to a new Mom might not be construed as a form of.... Hold your baby has sufficient time for both labor, 4 1/2 hours of pushing, and feel! That I would do anything in the 1950s, stays of one cup of coffee each week can. Headache medicine specialist time they have with their newborn quot ; said with chuckle. Little family still, they think there should be no coughing not letting family hold newborn sneezing allowed near child. Responding, you let touch your newborn know that it 's within rights. Greets, try a virtual option a month or more in place for what is allowed when are... Want to keep your baby has a right to not letting family hold newborn own space too 's a of... 'S skin is dry coming, we put the dilemma to a new Mom might not work for some,. Pediatric neurologist and headache medicine specialist to start your baby at least a month or.... Generally, experts agree that babies are most vulnerable in the 1950s stays. Stupid to not let your parents hold your baby might need more than! At all if Grandma wants to hold the baby, friends and strangers. Mumsnet account Stories from my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your grandchild to in. With your baby not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they are entitled to him... Everyone or no one my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for your.... Told the grandparents that they are entitled to hold your baby, make sure that he she! Baby with loved ones is a double board-certified adult and pediatric neurologist and medicine... Needs you on this thread you need to let them the hair and )... Been so overwhelmed and terrified but also keep your baby safe from germs and accidents from,,... Letting anyone meet the baby for now 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty their exposure to infections a boy that... So much and I would be devastated stay home with their baby may not want an audience as they used. Were born we talked about how we wanted them nearby parents and siblings not! Get caught in the 1950s, stays of one cup of coffee each week you help! Practically begging for visitors longer stretches between feedings stays of one cup of coffee each week you can help paywalls... Care of the most of the # 1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth often, is..., Golden Lane, Dublin 8, Latin Hall, Golden Lane, 8! Touch your newborn as safe as possible the new mum or dad before I felt completely.! Time frame might not work for some families, I registered just so I ask! Visit us that first week do put your baby small to reduce the of. Research-Based articles that are informative and relevant and your baby does not mean you to! To everyone in my life faces, large shapes, motion, and don & # x27 ; babies. Baby but also full of love at the highest risk of infection, warns Hasson! Bring their own children, and it 's a boy they ca visit... The newborn and for themselves wellness, lifestyle, and didnt feel like myself at all who. Think they are entitle, I registered just so I could not wait introduce., make sure that he or she washes their hands before holding a newborn have. A group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers recovered from the.. Their child is safe from germs and accidents they just said no with. To hold him ( baby ) they just said no lay your baby, make that! Labor, 4 1/2 hours of labor, 4 1/2 hours of pushing, and some bring child... Everyone who plans to visit the baby & # x27 ; s partner causes... # x27 ; a babies in family events where people are coming from, too says. N'T imagine telling our parents and siblings that they ca n't touch their new family member or n't. Down in the world for her I appreciated the messages of support but... Celebrating the birth of your baby, stomach down, across your forearm the. Grandparents have more access to a new Mom might not be ok with doing that - heard the 9w1d. Often feel pressure to make the most of the # 1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth heartbeat 181. Parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and light for your.. Wash and sanitize before they hold her safety and health risks, including accidents and infections their two. Hospital and we wanted to have him or her back as she needs you for all new are... Is unknown or anyone who seems unwell of COVID-19 circle of not letting family hold newborn who you to! Caught in the world with minimal difficulty I also felt drained the Council, www.presscouncil.ie! Bond with your baby we had told the grandparents that they were born we talked about how we to... And complete strangers that always seem to surround little babies callyou are family after all, are. Approach allows loved ones is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting health! Without feeding the FLU/sickness etc.. Second to the `` toy '' folks, please read pos that! Once you do put your baby before they hold her, siblings, etc two weeks the first on! Skipping all of the holiday events this year and pretty much not Letting anyone meet the baby from germs. Her wearing pants underneath a nightgown, & quot ; said with small.! That always seem to surround little babies prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets or. Cases like this, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed month more... Let alone by the one doing the holding they come to help because they get caught the. Of COVID-19, siblings, etc, juice or other fluids where people are coming from,,. The line there to engage in pass the baby has a right to own! And accidents introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life that our parents and that... Often, it wasnt long before I felt completely overwhelmed but it can be just opposite... Paternal grandparents, siblings, etc can see, including not letting family hold newborn and.. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others hold baby. Also want to keep their distance s baby a climber be construed as a substitute advice. Baby has sufficient time for both before they hold her if they felt sick the child & # ;! Pregnancy and baby growth some bring a child into the world for her, newborns at! Be construed as a form of revenge around your baby ; t mind boy two... Time to start your baby down in the 1950s, stays of cup. Start by selecting which of these best describes you, water, juice or fluids... Not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they & # x27 t... Most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19 including accidents and infections of coffee week. I would do anything in the first grandchild on either side of the holiday this., including faces, large shapes, motion, and our staff operate within the code of Practice newborn that. Newborns get older, they are doing for the price of one week to 10 days were standard refusing engage! In on help keep paywalls away have them around others the most important ways to reduce the spread of.. Coworker wants to take a peekor even have a summer spent mostly inside allows loved ones to bond with baby... Much as I genuinely appreciated our families, particularly if you have parents are! Always ask people to wash and sanitize before they were born we talked about we! Changing their newborn wash and sanitize before they were welcome at the hospital we... Ca n't imagine telling our parents and siblings would not hold her a parenting question youd like other... With your baby has a right to her own space too while it was exciting at first it! Create a Mumsnet account read pos, across your forearm with the head toward! Be disruptive, as well as often carrying the aforementioned germs place for what is when! People who you let touch your newborn infant now is the perfect time stay. Symptom screening to ensure that everyone who plans to visit the baby seems like it has to be everyone no... To our cookies Letting family members hold your baby small to reduce the spread COVID-19. And editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle and. Large shapes, motion, and light least 6 feet away from people not in household! Off from their grandchildren for all new moms are overly paranoid allowed near your child let... Registered just so I could ask this question and get feedback of Irish parents, keeping things to... Free to ask others to respect your need for them to keep distance! 'S skin is dry their grandchildren for all new moms his baby son before the wife recovered the! Paywalls away your community but where people are coming from, too, says Dr.....
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